Rain poured down…I closed the car door behind me…in an instant I was soaked. The boys were already barking and howling their greeting…”Mom you’re home!!!…Hurry up and get in here!!!” “I’ll be there in just a minute boys…” The rain created rapids over my feet. It actually felt really nice. Sometimes after treatment my feet swell for a few hours so the cold rain was a wonderful salve.
The boys continued their chant-like barking as I struggled to handle my huge green bag of the most recent supplements that just might contain the magic bullet to help heal my neurological symptoms. I slowly headed to the front door spying Golden Kobi and Little Guy Oscar peering through the dining room window ready to give me lots of love.
I shuffled my feet, then slowly walked with a very short stride then finally extended my stride to an almost normal one…now the next phase…stand up straight while walking with a normal stride…back still stiff but I’ve actually made it to the door…phew…key in, turn…Kobi howls away…damn…the key sticks…I have to pee…bad…everything feels slower with my misfiring brain…GOTTA PEE!!!
The door finally opens and I am completely covered in dog…such joy!!! I rush towards the bathroom but my Golden Kobi cuts me off at the bathroom door. He is my guide, my protector, making sure I’m always safe before entering a room, going to bed, or peeing. The only problem is he sometimes stops me from completing my action…and this time he’s delayed my toilet needs and I’ve already begun to leak…big time…yet another symptom of my lack of neurologic control over my body.
After cleaning myself, then the floor, then picking up my vitamins that have spilled all over, I head toward the kitchen where Little Guy and Golden Kobi are sitting patiently next to the counter where their treats are kept in a jar by the faucet. I give them a cookie then head toward the couch where both of them have already found their favorite locations.
I missed my chance to grab a sweet spot on the couch…so I squeezed in between the boys and pretended comfort. Golden Kobi looked up at me with his usual compassionate gaze but he wasn’t about to give up his spot…no way.
So we all sat there watching the boob tube…Little Guy asleep and Golden Boy somewhat awake and in constant adjustment. You see Kobi has hip dysplasia and at times this causes him to lay down for a bit but then every so often he’ll rise and circle sometimes more than a dozen times until he finds just the right spot. And today he seemed to be particularly active. But he never complained. He’d simply rise, circle and lay down again. And every once in awhile he’d give a big golden sigh…
With my condition I always seem to be impatient and expecting different results. I’ll shake, rattle and role from one position to another never sinking in and resting. My Golden Boy stays in the flow. He doesn’t give up his spot but remains constant doing what he needs to do to make himself comfortable.
I continued to watch his pattern for staying comfortable and with each passing moment I began to sink into the couch more and more at peace, less and less shaky. We were the Zen Circling Duo…Kobi on the outer, me on the inner…
Kobi looked up at me, sighed then extended his paw to my leg as if to say “It’s OK…you’ll get the hang of it”…and with that I sighed becoming just a bit more at peace with myself…a bit less judgemental…
I wonder what’s on the tube tonight? And with that thought I picked up the tv changer and began to surf the stations…funny…I’m not tremoring anymore…