I sat across from this virtual stranger quickly becoming sister confidant. Her hair pulled back into a tightly knotted pony tail. "I work for the government. I catch really bad people. You'll never know…" Her hair style matched her life perfectly…tight, controlled, anonymous. The husband sat on the other end of the couch, relegated to his place, listening to her story. "I never cry…why am I crying?"' Tears streamed down her face, eyes red from obvious hours of crying…somehow who I am had unleashed a tsunami of emotion.
Her grandmother had recently passed away and she was drowning in grief "She died a horrible death. Parkinson's is a horrible death." I was her confessor and pin cushion. "You have Parkinson's don't you?" No sense in denying it…"Yes". My confession unleashed another storm of tears.
It was now my job to defend all Parkinson's patients…to let her know that all is not lost…that we are fighting the good fight…"oh what the hell…let her grieve…just listen Kristina"
I flashed on Golden Kobi who so patiently sits next to anyone needing comfort. He just sits there receiving pets.
"How old are you?" She asks hoping I prove her premise that the Parkinson's patients are getting younger. "55" I croon, proud of my years. "I can't believe it…not a wrinkle on your face." Kobi receives the pet and I the compliment. Why not? It feels good to be loved and know that by being loved the lover is healed.
In my mind's eye I continue seeing my Golden Boy patiently sitting while being showered with pets galore.
Coming out of the closet with my Parkinson's has had curious effect on people.. What I notice most is that as I surrender to my own dignity and process, others begin healing their own pain. I administer the salve of love and acceptance…of our humanity and others begin to experience their own sense of love and acceptance. I had no idea this would be my mission but the Divine threw down the gauntlet and I became her witness for the healing.
"If you choose to accept this mission"… the leader of Mission Impossible begins throwing down headshots, choosing his team. Spirit has her team in place, now it seems to be my next step…choosing a team…but who are they?…
My tight pony-tailed government friend hugs me, holding on for dear life…"I love you"…her grandma's death now becoming easier to cope with…"I love you"…
If I choose to accept this mission…I didn't know this was part of the plan but for now yes…I choose…as I move forward…I choose the healing, the wisdom, the love…
Golden Kobi cocks his head, turning to look up at me with those beautiful brown eyes of his…"Let them pet you…it makes them feel so good."
So be it…